Pen of Amanda

From the pen of Amanda

I was on the red-eye from San Diego where I had attended a conference sponsored by a national “Right to Life” organization. I had given a paper there on the biblical prohibitions. Except for the demonstrations of the pro abortionist, the visit was enjoyable. I had hoped to sleep some on the flight, but as soon as I was comfortable and dozing, the pilot announced that we should put on our seat-belts because of some rough weather ahead. I always keep my seat-belt on so I didn’t need to move. I did open the blind on my so I could see the flashes of lightening from the storm. As I was watching the rain surround the plane, a white cloud that was roughly the size of a person appeared next to the window. I was surprised that it was keeping up with the plane.

I was even more surprised when it floated in the window and I could identify it as a person.

“You have been invited to visit the Aloyisis Institute for Aborted Souls.”

Before I could re-act the person and I were transported through the window to what looked like an ancient college campus where the central building, of Ionic Greek architecture, had Aloyisis Institute for Aborted Souls inscribed across where moldings below the gable usually appeared. We stopped, and I was thankful I could stand on solid ground even though the apparition still seemed to float.

Bill: “I am Bill and will be conducting you through this tour. I know that you are a reporter for NewsMax, a member of the Republican Party, and voted for Donald Trump in the last election. In fact, I have access to your life history, so if you have forgotten something, ask. However, our main purpose is to introduce you to this institute so you can have a better idea of how to present your ideas on a subject for which you have such a passion.

First. A little history. The Institute was created in 1921 when the organization founded in Margaret Sangor, Ethel Byrne, and Fania Mindell opened the precursor to the American Birth Control League. It was recognized that the organization would probably lead to abortion practitioners, one of which was Planned Parenthood and would overwhelm the facilities existing then.

In the early 1970’s after the Supreme Courts ruling “Roe vs Wade”, Planned Parenthood became a major provider of abortion services. The Institute was still not prepared.”

Me: “Why do we need an institute for aborted souls?”

Bill: “In most cases, when a baby is conceived, it is endowed with a soul. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” from Jeremiah 1:5. Even though these words were spoken to Jeremiah the Prophet, we should conclude that those words apply to all of us. So we must conclude that there is something, the soul, that is born with all humans. We know that there are destinations for souls of people that die. But what happens to those that do not have the opportunity to make decisions that living people can make that determination while alive?” The answer is here, Aloyisis Institute for Aborted Souls.”

Me: “You seem to have powers that are unknown to the human world. You somehow transmitted me through the window of a flying airplane, through a raging storm to this place”

Bill: “No, your physical body is still in the plane. Just your soul is here.”

Me: “I just noticed you morphing from a human image to just a white cloud.”

Bill: “I appeared as a human to start with just to keep you from panicking.”

Me: “I’m not sure it worked. You now appear as a white cloud.”

Bill: “We lost souls all appear as clouds. We can’t occupy the same space so we take on this image to keep from continually bumping into each other.”

Me: “I see, or rather understand, I think. But now I see, or sense, more souls of different colors.”

Bill: “That requires more explanation. Are you sure you are ready for that?”

Me: “Go for it. I’m sure it will evoke more questions. But …”.

Bill: “Souls, for obvious reasons, don’t require sustenance to exist. But we are left with one sense. That is the sense of taste, and before you ask, I don’t know why. So, for many of the souls here, it represents a pleasure that we/they can enjoy. The different colors? That is confirmation of the adage “You are what you eat.” For example, the dark purple soul probably enjoys blackberries (probably in pies). You appear in a light green to the rest of us because you like green salads.

Me: “But you appear as white…”

Bill: “That is because I don’t partake, since I don’t need it.”

Me: “We seem to be in a quadrangle like most colleges on earth. That suggest there may be classrooms or the like in the surrounding buildings. Is there?”

Bill: “Yes. There are meeting rooms for classes, discussion groups, and action planning groups. There are also isolation rooms where souls can go for complete privacy.”

Me: “I get the impression that there are groups with different persuasions.”

Bill: “Yes there are. Shall I list them?”

Me: “Okay by me.”

Bill: “The largest group, by far is the New Arrival group. Understandably when soul is aborted, this is where they start out. They have a welcoming committee, that gives the initial orientation class and conducts tours for the new arrivals. Many new arrivals stay in that group presumably because they are the most “politically” active group here. With over 885,000 new arrivals per year (over 350,000 from Planned Parenthood) you can see how fast we are growing. I can send you an outline of the orientation presentation if you wish.”

Me, wondering how but afraid to ask: “Please do.”

Bill: “The next largest group we call the Wanderers because that is what they do. They don’t seem to care about what goes on about them but usually partake of the food to have various colors.”

“Inside the institute, as I mentioned before, places of learning and discussion. There are what you may call professors teaching courses much like you would find in the earthly universities, including math, science, literature, and history. There is an extensive library there, which may explain the disappearance of books from earthly libraries. Even though there are classes in philosophy, religion, and the like teaching earthly morality, they aren’t popular.

“Science classes are popular, because the attendees can learn about the massive mistakes that earthly science has made and is still making.”

Me: “Woah, is still making?”

Bill: “Sure. Of coarse you remember when science taught that the earth was flat and recently that the most notable are:

1903: “The horse is here to stay but the automobile is only a novelty – a fad.”
1911: “It will be an easy matter to convert a truckload of iron bars into virgin gold.”
1912: “The coming of the wireless era will make war impossible, because it will make war ridiculous.” 1920: “A rocket will never be able to leave the Earth’s atmosphere.”
1949: “Computers in the future may have only 1000 vacuum tubes and perhaps weigh only 1.5 tons.”
1955: “Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in 10 years.”
1977:“There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”
1995:“I predict the internet will go spectacularly supernova and in 1996, catastrophically collapse.” 1966: Oil Gone in Ten Years
1972: Oil Depleted in 20 Years
1977: Department of Energy Says Oil will Peak in 1990s
1980: Peak Oil In 2000
1996: Peak Oil in 2020
2002: Peak Oil in 2010
2006: Super Hurricanes!
2005: Manhattan Underwater by 2015

“And yet. Governments are funding programs to combat “Global Warming” … .

“Humans refuse to use the brain they were given and believe “scientist” like, during the Covid-19 outbreak, “Masks will prevent you from getting Covid” and weathermen who can miss 1 – 3 day forecasts by 10%.

Me: “I will want to get back to this later, but.”

Bill: “Ok.. What?”

Me: “Since the largest group seems to be the New Arrival group, I understand that orientation is necessary, and yes, I could learn a lot from that. However, you said that they are the most politically active group.”

Bill: “Yes, there are political active groups housed in the Institute also, but they are mostly concerned about what the souls can do and carrying out experiments.

“Okay, let’s start with a discussion of what they can do and correct some so-called facts that the scientists have given humans.

“The scientists have perpetrated the fiction of the earth’s eco-system and how it works in a reasonable theory consisting mainly of these “facts”.

“Clouds are made up of water particles that travel upward into the sky by virtue of the sun’s heating of the damp earth and bodies of water. Their explanation is that clouds result from water naturally in the atmosphere reaching the dew point of water and condensing. Often it condenses on a particle of dust of some sort. If one looks at an ordinary snowflake under a microscope one can usually find that particle of dust.

“Members of the New Arrival group claim that these are tears from aborted souls.”

Me: “But there weren’t that many aborted souls before 1970, and the Supreme Court ruling in “Roe Vs Wade”.

Bill: “True, but they claim they were shed by angels grieving over the failure of so many humans to observe the rules of human behavior. And yes, they are still there.”

Me: “What about lightning?”

Bill: “The latest “Scientific” explanation is that as rain falls, positively charged ions are concentrated in the clouds and negatively ones collect on earth. That whole theory is based on mislabeling what positive and negative mean. One would assume that an excess of electrons would be positive and a deficiency would be negative. But no, “Science” had named them the opposite and developed all the rules of electric theory based on that theory. For example the end of a battery, usually the case, with the excess of electrons is labeled negative and the post going into the battery is labeled plus. Current, the movement of electrons, is shown to be from the mislabeled minus end of the battery to the positive end.

“So, lightening is actually the travel of electrons from the ground to the cloud. Scientist, studying lightening have published studies that lightening originates from the cloud to the ground. Before these studies, lightening rods were invented to protect large structures from lightening. An early explanation was that, a rod with a pointed end releases a sort of protective cloud of electrons around the structure. However, more modern studies seem to suggest the lightening actually hits the rods and the electrons are carried from the ground, up a connection wire, to the rod and the bolt of lightening. Those studies don’t explain why the lightening with its tremendous amount of energy doesn’t vaporize that conducting wire. Have you ever seen what happens when lightening strikes a tree?

“Have you ever experienced “static cling” or static discharge from cloths after removing them from a dryer? New Arrivals claim that rubbing with each other develop enough energy that enough of a potential between the positive and negative elements to initiate a lightening strike. In the main building there is research trying to determine if there is a way to direct the strike. Maybe to the individuals responsible for their abortions.”

Me: “What about some of the activities in the Institute?”

Bill: “One, I think might interest you, is a group that is studying methods of repatriating souls that are here.”

Me: “Repatriating?”

Bill: “Yes, souls, for obvious reasons want to exist in a human so they have the same opportunities that the soul created for that person has. They have, on occasion, had success, but a reliable mechanism is yet to be developed.

“Some how, an aborted soul may contact the created soul and sell it on the idea that with the advanced training from the institute, the cooperating souls have an advantage over normal one-soul humans. The main problem is that the unsuccessful aborted soul does not have the salesmanship ability to make the transfer. Unfortunately the ones that do, are usually from abortions from a group on earth that you call LGBTQ members.”

Me: “That may explain why we seem to have more young people want to be a sex other than their biological sex.”

Bill: “Just one statistic: the percentage of those from the millennials who have identified themselves as part of the LGBTQ movement has increased from 5.8% to 11.2% from 2012 to 2022.”

Ending

Me: “I think I’m like the rabbit having sex with the skunk. I haven’t had enough but I’ve had about as much as I can take!”

I woke to the pilot announcing that we were landing and to fasten our seat belts. I wanted to write notes about my visit but my iPad was in my luggage and I had nothing to write with or on.

When I got back to my apartment, I signed on to my computer with the intention of writing down about my experience. As computers go, mine insisted on going to my email ap first and most were from advertisers or friends, one was from my boss notifying me of a meeting I was expected to attend at 3:00pm. I had about enough time to shower and change to make it to the meeting. But I did have time to scan the rest of the email list. One jumped out at me. It was from bill20200315@aloyisis.edu. I had to open it! What I found was a transcript of our meeting and an invitation to visit again!

Thanks Friends

Introduction

Having just finished studying about David in the PodCast "Bible in a Year", I note that one of the things David did was to recognize all that were with him during his reign. Good idea. I have had a great life but at 87 and with the physical problems I am having, I think maybe I should do the same. Please know that I am recognizing those that are particularly special and if you are not there, you are still special! And if you want to complain, or correct anything I have posted please add a note.

Immediate Family

Liz

Of course to have Mary Elizabeth "Liz" Bearden as a partner most of my life is unparalleled. She told someone she married be because I was a "good person". And I must add that she worked hard during our marriage to keep me that way.

 

Ethel Mae Shaffield Bearden

If I started my life with Liz as a good person, it was because of a mother who loved me enough to breath life into me when I was a "Blue Baby" and when I had Polio. Further my punishments were often lessons from the Bible that she gave me when I transgressed.

Oscar Loron "dad" Bearden

Dad only had a third grade education. But ask him how much lumber was required to build a room of a certain size and he could tell you, with a minimum of waste.

Ethelyn Jane "Sister" Bearden Machen and Sherman Stansel "Stan" Machen

Mother, after Perry was born, had an enormous job with him. Sister often filled mother's place as a sudo mother. Stan served as an example of how to be a father, husband, and citizen, having served (and wounded).

Robert Henry "Bob" Bearden and Betty Jane Conkling

Brother - also served in the Army. After washing out of aviation cadets (he did it before I did) he served as radio-operator on B-29s. And yes, his experience probably influenced my entry into the Air Force and cadets. Betty provided counseling about the fairer sex.

Angela, Kelly, Gary, Dale

And yes, I probably should and someday will split this into numerous descriptions. For now, I just want to say they were tops in making this soul's life worth living.

Other Family

I must note here that I have enjoyed all of my family but because of poor memory I am only going to mention those I remember at the moment.

Judith Amanda "Mandy/Angel" Driggers Hay

To me Mandy is proof that God has put angels among us. Her service to her family, particularly her mother as well as serving her community and being a talented artist is what comes to mind.

Sidney Bethell Pruett Lucas

Sidney made this list because she, with a lot of resistance, finally attained her goal of being a registered nurse.

Friends

Benjamin Burton Chastain

Ben was the smartest person I have ever known. We were close during my High School days and the most memorable events were Sunday afternoon activities. Dad would give me a quarter to go to MYF meeting at First Methodist Church. 14 cents for streetcar fare and 11 cents for offering. Ben and I decided that we could walk to MYF and save the 14 cents. That and reducing the offering by a penny would leave us enough to buy a soda at North Highlands drug store. After which we would go to Ben's house and play cards, Canasta as I remember. Considering Ben had a photographic memory and could remember every card played, I never won. But I enjoyed it anyway!

FoolsFace

This person's conviction was from his mother's teaching that "Fools' names and Fools' Faces are found in Public Places". Therefore I substitute FoolsFace for his name. FoolsFace is a forever friend. Where others and I drifted apart, he was always there. When Liz and I lived in Canoga Park, he would visit us every weekend for breakfast even though the drive to and from our house took him over an hour both ways. He presently lives in Mountain Brook less than a mile from where I lived the first 6 years of my life. I still have the feeling that if I called on him for help, he would, if physically able, would respond.

John Allen "Johnny" Harris

Johnny lived a house up the alley from our house, 1517 11th Steet No., in Birmingham. Johnny joined the US Marines shortly after we graduated and except for a short period thereafter have not communicated. Johnny, retired as WO John Allen Harris, received a medal (I have never found out what), for, being wounded himself, dragging two wounded members of his squad to safety during a firefight in Korea. The sad part of this story was that at the 20 year class reunion, those in charge refused to honor him for his service.

Carol Warrick

Fool's Face introduced me to Carol to take her to a lead-out at her sorority. As a result she became my first girlfriend. At the time, all I could afford was bus fare to the stop close to what is now the Samford University. There was a bus stop at what is now Lakeshore Drive and Columbiana Rd, (I think) and I would walk to the Warrick house on one of the side streets. We entertained each in a "play room" by playing the piano, listening to records, and dancing. It may seem strange to many but we were not sexually attracted to each. Yes, I thought she was beautiful, but not that way.

 

Barbara Bamberg

Barbara was special, mainly because she had the most beautiful alto voice I have ever heard. She, along with Ben, Mary (Ben's sister) and I would sing while going from place to place in my car.

Jo Veal

File written by Adobe Photoshop? 4.0

Aside from being my date, and the prettiest high school ROTC sponsor I ever knew, Jo has been special, mostly of late because of her posts on FB. I am really at a loss to explain why she seems to occupy such a special  place in my heart, but I am glad she is there.

Louise Templeton

Louis was my first candidate for marriage. Having graduated from high school and scheduled to go to Air Force Radio School. Even though leaving failed to activate the "Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder" syndrome and we drifted apart, I am grateful that we reestablished our friendship.

Harriett Thigpen

Brother Bob suggested that, to meet the prettiest girls, go to church. That has been my experience and Harriett was possibly the prettiest. We met at the West Baimbridge Methodist church even before they moved into the new building. That relationship failed because when I transferred to jet training in Mississippi, I decided to raise my standing in the class and sacrificed communication with her. She was attractive and soon I stopped receiving letters from her. I noticed the passing of her husband in the obituaries and contacted her by mail to express my condolences.

Ann Hughes

Note that I put Ann's name in caps!!! I credit Ann for turning my life around after I returned home, washing out of Aviation Cadets. Bitter and disappointment were pervasive in my life at the time. Ann showed me that life could be enjoyable and set me on the course that got me here. I lost contact with her and having searched including "Classmates" but only know she graduated from Ramsay High School in Birmingham in 1957.

Ken Harple

Ken Harple was President and Founder of Modcomp. His mantra was "What makes a successful company is its people". In addition to saying it, he lived it. A convincing incident occurred at Joe Godfrey's going away party from System Engineering Laboratories (as people, disgusted with policies of new management there, left, they were given a party at a local bar and grill). One of the employees, Bill, a just graduated mathematician, remarked that a president of a company just didn't have time to "know his people". At the party, Ken approached a table where Bill and I were sitting and was shaking hands to all around. When he got to Bill, he congratulated him on his recent graduation, asked about Bill's sister and brother, by name, and mentioned each's career. Bill swears it was a put up job. But I don't think so!

Ed Murphy

Ed was founder of Saratoga Conveyor in Atlanta. He taught me that, no mater the level of management a person found oneself, they had to be familiar with the nuts and bolts of their product. I had attended a course at Florida Atlantic where they taught that a manager did not need to know the technology of the product in order to be an effective manager. My opinion that that was not true was confirmed by Ed.

Stephen and Riina Makk

Stephen, knowing I was a Christian, claimed to be an unbeliever. In fact, he and Riina were the most moral people I ever knew. So much so, that if I had to make a choice between most of the "Christians" that I knew and the Makks, I would choose the Makks.

Doug and Carolyn Norris

Doug and Carolyn are what is known as enduring friends. They supported me through my brother's death, actually arranging the  Masonic aspects of the funeral activities,  and "Keeping" me during the time of Liz's fight with cancer, death, and afterwords, by keeping me occupied with various projects, and transporting me when I needed to go somewhere.  The day Liz died, Carolyn remained at her bedside until the family arrived.

Finally

All of the people, friends and relatives, have in some way influenced my life and these are just a few. But they are an important few!

 

 

 

 

 

Modcomp

Modcomp Memories

Of the great experiences Felix had in his career, including working on an artificial neural network at Wayne State University, involvement in the design and introduction of two computer architectures of two computer systems, design and implementation of a power-line communication system, no experience matches that of his involvement with the initial founding of Modular Computer Systems. Even though Felix was not a founder and missed the initial meetings at the “Down Under”, as employee number 40 he was privileged to see and maybe even contribute to its movement from a dream to a major contributor to the mini-computer industry. This chapter will cover some of the stories.

Founders

President: Ken Harple
Finance:
Engineering: Ray Matson
Software Development: Sy Schwartz, Joe Godfrey, Neil Miller
Manufacturing

Early Staff

Engineering

Hardware

Modcomp Processor: Ray Matson

Micro Code:

Memory:

Software By Product

Operating Systems: Max II Max III, Sy Schwartz, Byron Thomas

Software Loader: Paul Parker

Text Editor: Roger Lee

Macro Assembler:

Diagnostics: Neil Miller, Doug

Fortran Compiler: Syntax-Felix Bearden, Code Generator-Joe Godfrey

Runtime Library: Bob Horton

Math Library: Kamal Bitar

Manufacturing

Sales and Marketing

Events

Know Your People

As people left, a celebration was held at a local bar. At Joe Godfrey’s party several of us were discussing the importance of upper-management knowing their people. Someone, Joe I think, mentioned that Ken Harple was one of the best at knowing his people. Bill, labeled an “arithmetic major” by Jim Johnson, argued that upper management didn’t have time to know mere employees. Ken, “Our best asset is our people”, came to our table, shook hands with each of us, and when he got to Bill, and greeted him by name, also asked how his brother, mentioning him by name, and his brother’s wife, mentioning her by name, were doing.

A New Product

The first company wide meeting was to review the presentation of a marketing firm who was contracted help introduce the company and its product to the market place. Some of their ideas were accepted. The logo recommended and adopted was to suggest interconnected components using interconnected m”s around a center. The Company colors were to be Magenta, Chocolate, and Sandstone representing the initials of Modular Computer Systems. The first computer, the Modcomp III used those colors. The first building, after we moved out of the grocery store was sandstone with chocolate trim. The windows in the executive offices were magenta.

One idea, not accepted, was to use a rounded top so that three cabinets side by side would form the Modcomp M. It would also discourage placing items on the top which interfered with cooling.

Modcomp III

had 15 general-purpose registers,

was initially offered with a 16-kilobyte (16,384 bytes), 18-mil magnetic core memory with an 800 ns cycle time, expandable to 128 kilobytes (131,072 bytes).

Modcomp II

introduced in 1972,

maintained compatibility with the Modcomp III, while using some LSI circuits.

The core architecture of the 16-bit machines included blocks of uncommitted opcodes and provisions for physical modularity that hint at the reasoning behind the company name.

Modcomp IV

introduced in 1974,

was an upward compatible 32-bit machine with a paged  memory unit,

The minimum memory configuration was 32 kilobytes (32,768 bytes), expandable to 512 kilobytes (524,288 bytes), with access times of 500 to 800 nanoseconds (varying because of memory interleaving),

The machine had 240 general purpose registers, addressable as 16 banks of 15 registers. The MMU contained 1024 address mapping registers, arranged as 4 page tables of 256 pages each (some of these page tables could be further subdivided if address spaces smaller than 128 kilobytes (131,072 bytes) were needed). Fields of the program status were used to select the current active register bank and page table. The machine had a two-stage pipelined CPU, and a floating point unit,

Modcomp Classic

Compatible with the Modcomp IV,

supported 32 bit addressing.

Bootstrapping Software

Only recently had software systems progressed to a point where an operating system was needed. Complete programs were loaded with a bootstrap loader from some media like paper tape or punched cards. With more advanced storage systems like magnetic tape and disk storage, program loading became easier and primitive  operating systems with built-in functions were developed. CPM and early versions of DOS are examples of those. However, Modcomp's chosen market was measurement and control with event driven functions needed for control applications so the resulting operating system.  Developing system software for a new architecture from scratch with the final objective being an event driven operating system actually made planning easier. The first piece was to design the program object code and  the assembler language to take symbolic code and convert to object code. These pieces were coded and checked out on an IBM computer. Once this works, a primitive system can be implemented that can be run on the prototype of the new machine along with diagnostics to make sure the instructions operated as specified. Inaccuracies in this paragraph are due to the fact that Felix was not involved in this activity.

Felix was busy with Joe Godfrey designing the Fortran System and understanding the pseudo-code of an existing compiler. Also we discovered that the author of the book “Compiler Construction” was giving a two week course using his book as the text. Modcomp was good enough to send Felix there for the course. Felix got a draft of the book and about as intense class as he had ever had. He found out later that this was a practice session for a semester length class the professor was giving next semester at Cornell University.

The Fortran consisted of four parts. The compiler, the macro-assembler, the runtime/i/o library, and the math library. Except for the macro-assembler, the system was laid out in a traditional design. Because a requirement of the system that it would run from paper tape, the compiler was designed to generate code with a single pass over the source. To ease debugging of the generated code and enable additional machine instructions be included when implemented in future machines (like the Modcomp IV) it was decided to have the code generator generate macro source code to be assembled by the macro-assembler. This enabled the compiler to remain unchanged as the newly added features of hardware could be incorporated by making changes in the macro files.

“Compiler Construction” contained  a section on code optimization which served as the model for the one implemented in the compiler. Because of the one-pass design, optimization could only occur where the execution path was linear, that is sequences that didn’t include branches (conditional or unconditional). The compiler also used all 15 registers for computation, some for intermediate results and others to temporarily hold variables that were used more than once in expressions. Note that for computations involving arrays, computation of the pointer to the memory location is an expression and is subject to optimization.

Once the team had released the software, customers found problems that were not found with internal testing. The staff instituted an SPR(Software Problem Report) system to manage the tracking and correction of the problems. One person, Phillip Mathews, was the champion  submitter of these reports which were often associated with the Fortran system. The staff ended up hiring him to fix a number of the problems in the libraries that he discovered. Because of his skill reading the generated code, he was very helpful in tracking down compiler problems. One day, he came to Felix to report on a problem someone reported. The report suggested that the expected result, that was held in a register was never stored in memory. Phil was laughing because he found the storage instruction 14 pages of listings beyond where the SPR submitter expected it to be.

 

Mary Ann Purgason

 

Maryann Purgason has been entertaining many of us with her emails for the last several years.  This column recounts some of the best that I have on record.  If any of you have some that I have missed, please email them to me and I will post them. And... If someone will send a later picture ... I will replace this one.

2/12/2010 At the Library Again

So.  It turns out that there were 18 people on our road who were having the same trouble with their ATT internet service that we were.    How do I know?  I stopped and asked the linemen at the end of the road.  When you want to know something, ask somebody who really knows and is on the scene, not some dude with a script in Pakistan..  Now our desktop works, but they had Dan disconnect the wireless setup and he\'s looking at Dawg Nation, so I\'m here, b/c my laptop is wireless. I\'d like to thank all of you who sent all those funny, funny emails, since I can\'t laugh out loud here.  Don\'t worry, I have the library ladies e-addresses and I sent the emails to them. We\'re supposed to have snow.  Must be global warming.

2/20/2010 Godzilla Died

Godzilla died.  For those who may not know, Godzilla was Dan\'s huge greeeeeen big mans\' recliner than dominated the living room until I convinced him a year ago to build its own room.  Now, I like green; it\'s my favorite color, but this green was so out of style that I couldn't find anything to go with it, except to get lucky at yard sales.  Some of you may even know that Godzilla was locally famous, having been chosen for an article I wrote for the Lagrange News on Father's Day a few years back.   The really neat thing is that it was big enough for Dan and several grands to eat watermelon and old enough that they could, without recriminations.  Our puppies chewed on the handle. We began to notice creakiness after a spring broke and could not be replaced, because they no longer make either the chair or the spring.  There was a huge recliner sale at Father's Day and Dan bought a tan microfiber suede recliner that went perfectly with the rattan porch furniture.  I had a lovely room of tans, creams, and turquoise, absolutely up to the minute style and I loved it.  Dan hated it.  Suede gave him the creeps and it wasn't big enough for him and the dogs, so, I got the new recliner and Dan dragged Godzilla out of the garage.  We kept looking. We saw some wonderful chairs that had everything.  They rocked.  They heated.  They massaged.  They had storage.  None measured up.  We drove to other states so he could sit in them or see the swatches.  Finally, he ordered a  tan plush catnapper cloud 9 rocker recliner for delivery in six weeks.  Saturday afternoon, he got stuck in Godzilla.  It absolutely would not fold and he had to fight his way up.  The phone rang and it was the truckers with the new chair, four weeks early.  Kismet. Now, Dan wouldn\'t pay extra to have the thing placed in our house, so they unloaded it onto our pickup and he drove it around to the sunroom door.  We removed Godzilla\'s body and commenced unloading the thing.  Now, excuse me, but I am 63 years old and a female and I can pick up my side of the recliner, but the 3 inch shipping staple in my hand was a little too much.   When I let go, the chair hit Dan in the head and we all went down in a heap and we\'re not even in the door yet.  We yelled at each other for awhile, which is our nature, and then stopped the bleeding.  Finally, we got it in.  It\'s bigger than Godzilla. Dan and the dogs took a nap. Godzilla is back in the garage.  Should I have it bronzed?

2/26/2010 The Purgason Ballerina

No.  It wasn\'t me.  It was Sugar, the Bulldog, who thinks she's Hogansville's answer to Pavlova's Dying Swan.  More like Dead Duck.  She did a swan dive off the new recliner, which is higher than the old one and went splat on the laminate floor that covers the old concrete patio.  She was stunned for about half a minute, couldn't get up for trying for a minute more and then limped to me with her paw held out, whimpering.  She continued to limp for a couple of hours before we could get her in to see the vet.  She's mainly bummed up, but he weighed her while we were there.  She weighs 60 pounds!  At nine months old!  .

3/11/2010 No Good Deed...

So.  Let\'s go back to when we built the house and decided to put in the new kind of septic system that is kinder to the environment.  It was 1996 and green wasn't cool, but we did it anyway, wanting to be responsible people who make the right choices.  You may have heard of the times (I lost count) there was ankle deep sewage in the house that had to  be pumped out.   After we replaced the carpet with laminate floors, we had a few good years there during the drought, but it happened again after the ice storm and again during the Atlanta floods last fall.  Whenever it rains, it backs up. We got 2 inches of rain yesterday.  Closed doors didn't help, so I lit candles all over the house.  Damn if the fire alarm didn't go off.  Scared the dogs, scared us. The dogs got loose in the house and inside of 2 minutes, the boys had marked everything in the living room and Sugar had stolen a tube of who-knows-what from the bathroom trash where I had discarded outdated cosmetics. She ran like the wind to get outside thru the doggie door, with me in pursuit and when I\'d go out the people door, she\'d snatch it and come inside, and when I\'d go inside, she\'d snatch it and go out.  With the candles out and the fire alarm off, Dan came to man the doggie door and we trapped her, getting the tube, along with one of my missing sox and five chewed paintbrushes.  I also picked up something else on my shoe, so then I had to clean the floor of that, plus the boys gifts and wash my shoes all because of that septic system.  Now, Dan is trying to replace the carpet Sugar chewed off the sunroom step and she\'s helping by standing right beside him, pulling the carpet off.  He\'s only almost fallen twice.  SweartoGod, I\'m not making this up.  No good deed goes unpunished.

3/22/2010 Rules of Laundry

Today, Murphy\'s Law of Laundry: Part 1: if it fits and looks great and you love it, it will shrink.  Doesn't matter how careful you are--cold water, hang it up--it's gonna shrink.  Part 2:  If you love it and it looks great but it's too big, it won't shrink.  No amount of hot water and hot dryer tumbling will make it.  Part 3:  It will, however, fade.

4/6/2010 More Laundry

Tried a getup for Sugar that came undone in the wee hours.  I was too sleepy to do much about it; so am washing bed linens AGAIN. I'm going to get something smaller, with ruffles on it for her. We'll have to go through this twice more before we can breed her.  Everyday, I want puppies less and less. Have been plowing through half a dreadful book, about a bunch of seniors at Princeton writing their senior theses--my first mistake was listening to the critics who loved it.  To engender my interest, I skipped to the end to see what happened and still didn\'t care.   Decided to bail. I hope you are thoroughly enjoying sunny skies.

4/6/2010 P.S.

After I applied for my passport, I stopped at the Troup County Rec Center to join for their Cardio room and the pool.  This morning, I realized that if it is to augment my new healthy lifestyle, I\'ll actually have to go and work out or swim.  Darn.

4/6/2010 Swimming

Ok, so I drove 10 or 15 minutes, peeled out of my cutsie dress designed to go over my swimsuit and stashed my keys, glasses, Rec Center card, towel and sandals in a locker and about froze myself to death getting into the pool.  The Troup County Sharks are still competing and they like the water frigid.  It certainly keeps you moving once you get past the 4th step.  It\'s move or die. I did my slow laps for 20 minutes as instructed, thinking that it was hardly worth the bother to drive to Lagrange for 20 minutes.  Then I tried to get out of the pool. Forget the ladder, I had to go over to the kiddie steps and pull myself out among the little minnows and their grandad who said he had better sense than to swim laps.  He found me to be amusing.  I found him to be a jerk.  I think it\'s stupid that you have to drive to a pool dressed, go into the locker room and change, then change back to go home.  It\'s a pool for pete\'s sake, why not wear a swimsuit?  But I am a Southern woman and I go by the code, though it is antiquated and I\'m about to fall over.  They don\'t like for you to squish through the lobby, but why?  It\'s a pool!  Wouldn\'t you expect water?  We do that at the beach too.  We walk 50 yards to the sand and we wear clothes that we must peel off and then wear them back full of sand.  Maybe it\'s just me...but it seems like a lot of bother. I\"m not going to the Olympics, not even the Senior ones.  I\'ll be happy to feel better and maybe even get out of the pool on the ladder.  Someday.

4/17/2010 The right way, the wrong way, and the Purgason way

So. I packed the car Thursday night to alleviate as much last minute running around as possible and was ready to leave at 8a. m., having aimed for 9.    Agatha called a few minutes later to say that she was ready, so I said , \"Let\'s go.\"  I drove over to the gas station to fill the Santa Fe in the meantime.  She arrived, spoke to her kid, Dan, and we left a few minutes before 9. She was meeting friends for a long weekend in Dahlonega and I was going to keep the dog for a quiet weekend and the kids for a week and a weekend while John met  his fiancee Claudia in Germany. We made it to John's house in an hour and a half, from 35 minutes from ATL airport, through downtown Atlanta, to Gillsville.  This is from the farthest Southwest suburb to the farthest Northeast suburb of metro Atlanta.  Nifty trip.  No stops, no stalls, no accidents, although the traffic was heavy, on a Friday.  This is momentous.  The S*** Fairy, however, was waiting for us at John's. Anticipating a ten hour flight to Germany, he had ridden his racing bike for 25 miles and had arrived home to find that his flight had been cancelled due to the volcano in Iceland. He was beside himself.  I don't know what Agatha said, but suddenly he burst out, "It IS a big deal.  It's a great big deal.  It's a bigger deal than y'all (he's a Southern boy)  know. We are going to get married while we are over there."  Bless their hearts, they planned 2 weddings:  the Catholic one in Garmisch for her family and the Protestant one here, for us.  Each one would have a ceremony with family.  Silence.  To be honest, I was relieved, since the only one I knew about was the one where John\'s family would be and none of Claudia's. We love her dearly, but it's not the same as her having her family there.  I would love to be in Germany, but hey, it's their wedding, they should have what THEY want.  The best wedding I ever went to, everybody was barefoot on the beach at sunrise, had a wedding breakfast at the beach house and partied all day. "When is it?" I asked. \"I don't know, " he answered,  "Some time next week. I'm just gonna show up and do what they tell me. Okay, I said, "We have time to regroup." After much planning and many phone calls,  we threw our luggage into the carport, threw his in, and all piled into the car, headed  to meet a ride to ATL airport.  Agatha was in the back with the dog, who had escaped and run to the car.  She proceeded to shed all over Agatha's pretty navy blue sweater set.  We met Scott, who was headed back south, switched the luggage, hugged quickly,  and they went. Agatha and I hadn't eaten anything so we stopped for lunch.  I would have taken her to meet her friends, but she had left her purse at John's house.  We went back.  She called and they came to the house.  In the meantime, Agatha carefully cleaned the dog hair off her sweaters, but as soon as she sat down, the dog jumped into her lap. The the meter guy came to install the new meter for the house addition.  The TV went off; all the channels are locked; I don't know the code.  After Agatha escaped with her friends I watched one of those Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which I hadn't seen yet.  Just as Orlando Bloom came out of the maelstrom, healed of the wound to his heart, the phone rang. "Mooooom?"  John had stood in line for four hours and had a flight for Rome on Monday. Claudia will ride the train from Bavaria to Rome. (Yes!) He rode the train to Doraville MARTA station and I headed out again.  I couldn't find it and couldn't speak Korean or Spanish, but finally found someone who spoke English and knew where it was. John hadn't eaten all day.    This is the kid who I never got between and the refrigerator when he got off the bus after school, so I took him to the nearest Chili's.  He bought us a nice dinner and expressed a desire to go to Rex's baseball game.  So I took him and came home.  My stuff was still in the carport.  I'll go back on Monday.  I know if I'd had the kind of day he had, I would want to spend the weekend alone.  And I brought the dog, which he requested,  so I have 4 for the weekend. That's about it, except for Spaghetti Junction at rush hour coming back from the train and the hole in my passenger side floor from John's braking.

4/22/2010 A Done Deal

They did it!  John and Claudia eloped while in Germany--just went off by themselves to get married.  No family, no friends, just them.  I thought it was wonderfully romantic.  They did what they wanted.  Imagine, the bride and groom had the wedding they wanted.  What a concept!  I wish I'd run off to Germany.

5/04/2010 Sugar the Bulldog

So.  She\'s loose in the house when she is supposed to be in the sunroom or the yard, but she followed Dan, who cannot resist a pretty face, and then she found one of my NEW sandals, but I chased her down before it got any teeth marks. I barred the closet door, which will keep all of the a/c in the closet, so I\'ll  move in there.    We are doing our best to keep her on a diet, but she likes the boys' food best and they like hers best, so it's a huge deal to get them separated, running back and forth, capturing escapees twice a day.  Then, she won\'t eat unless Dan feeds her by hand and we both have to stand right beside her while she eats, \"Because, " he says,  "She has separation anxiety."      We're standing there quietly, not moving, in the kitchen when this prescient flash hits me.--" This dog is spoiled." (ya think?) The good news is that my brain still works and we exercise by chasing them around.

5/8/2010 Maryannie\'s Big Weekend

Time for Dan\'s semi-annual golf trip and I have celebrated by making a huge mess in the house.  For whatever reason, when I deep clean I make things worse for awhile.  It has something to do with the way I think, which is global, but I do have a method here: fire up, mess up, clean up.  Oh, yeah, and it's okay for me to end a sentence with a preposition, and misplace my modifiers, 'cause I'm Southern and I write like I talk. I fired up Thursday by running errands to collect the cleaning supplies I needed and the tchotchkis I had purchased and left in the store until I needed them.  I thought that was inspired, as I have been known to lose things that I put up until later or where I will know exactly where they are.  I messed up Friday by moving  furniture and vacuuming, dusting, and finding things like Dani's Binky.  Dani's six, but it WAS squashed between  the bed and the wall and would have only been found when the bed was moved.  I could have said it was Zane's as he's younger, but it was pink. I have found that it's much easier to be truthful about myself, as it's too much trouble to keep up with stories. Besides, the goofy way I do things makes it much more interesting. The whole process would have been quicker and easier had I simply put the furniture back in the same place, but what\'s the fun in that? I'll clean up later today, like right when I press send, except that it\'s really already clean, just messy or rather, " in disarray".  Happy Mother's Day!

5/13/2010 Confirmation

So.  Dan takes the long walk out to the mailbox at the road every day.  I didn't go while he was on his golf trip, since I was otherwise occupied in the back bedroom rakeout.  When he got back, he collected the exciting missives.  His comment was, "We must be old."  He laid the letters next to my computer and I looked to see what he meant:

Letter #1:  The Scooter Store

Letter #2:  AARP membership renewal

Letter#3:  Insurance for final expenses  (I love that--\"final expenses.\"  Isn\'t that sweet?)

I am reminded of my Mother\'s aunt, Lolly, who lived alone and drove in the city of St Louis until she was 100, the Big Ten -o..  One December, while in her nineties, she had a heart attack and didn't tell anybody cause she didn't want to ruin Christmas.  The following March she decided to depart for the Trans-Canada Mystery Train.    "Oh, Lolly," I protested,  "Do you really think that's a good idea?"    "Well," she said,  "I thought about it and I've already paid for it.  I can't get my money back.  I decided that, if I die, it's not my problem."

5/19/2010 Roses x 9 = Pain

Happy Mother's Day to me.  I planted those babies in pots, which almost killed me.  Thank goodness I didn't have to dig holes or I would still be in bed, unable to move.  Dan was most helpful.  He went to Home Depot for ten 40 pound bags of soil and left his truck so I could use the tailgate for a potting bench while he went to his mother's to sit on his bum for the afternoon.  I\'m not complaining